paying for dinner

If he feels he wants to then he can.. but it may well be a matter
of discussion, and she may accept the COURTESY of him paying..



this is not the 1800's , when women could not work and
were not allowed to work.. MANY WOMEN HAVE GREAT JOBS, why
not pay attention to who the colleges say are the highest
in attendance and completion, 'IT'S WOMEN"
in some sectors.


PEOPLE REFUSE TO CHANGE, and cling to the old psuedo romantic
captions, No body owe's the other anything, "it's
a date", and both of them are on it, and it one accepts
the courtesy of the other to pay, then that's fine that's
their agreement, but not as if it's some prescribed
mandate.. if it's dinner , she eats just like he does,
and that old saying may be more true than not.. " there
is no free lunch or dinner".. now, it may be given and
shared as such as a COURTESY, but never as a mandate..


but any man can set what ever he considers to be his level
of Chilivary, based on what he expects to impress, upon
whom ever he's trying to impress.. but often times, this stuff serves as a entry level program,
that soon as they relax with each other it's not forth
coming, and the stage has been set for it to be expected and
life situation does not make it always so.. and such stuff
just becomes another element that leads often to that trip
saying " you don't love me anymore, you USE TO,
do this or that..


but to each his own..


I'm not looking for a handicapped woman...Nor one
that chooses to act like she's one when she is not..
(now if it's a natural handicap, then I can accept that)..
but for this madness of Chilivary, programming, he has
to open the door, pull out her chair, and act like he can't
say what he thinks, he just as well grab the spoon and feed
her too, and then break his neck trying to get over to pay,
and then make sure he leaves a tip big enough for her to swoon
over, that gives the impression, that there's even
more money that may be forth coming to her.. ( what is that
saying, " a big tipper will spend lavishly and without
reserve on a woman).. well.. if that's the impressions
that he seeks to make.. then by all means .. have at it..


I prefer to deal with kindness that I can manage, as being
kindness, not set up impressions.. and if a woman don't
want to accept the nature of such, then she is free to go find
the script that suits her best.. I personally, don't want anything from anyone that
is given to me as part of some script, in such nature of relations..
I prefer that it is given in kindness because they have considered
my realism, and have thought what might best be their manner
of sharing..


I often pay because it's my choice to want to do it..
and it's not a question about it if I know the woman has
no money, but I also don't have a problem saying how
we can manage it, maybe I may pay for the meal, and she covers
the tip.. and if she's a nut case, who always want to
order the most expensive thing on the menu, then I will let
her know, we just as well go dutch, and she can order what
thrill her most.. ( but most women, who respect the man,
does not order the most expensive stuff just because she
can, to make him pay for it, they manage it with more dignity)..



From the way many people seem to view things, all a woman
has to do is show up, and a man suddenly wants to assume all
responsibility for her.. and if that's what make some
feel like a man, have at it..


I prefer a MUTUAL sharing relationship,


I see many relationship, where it appears, and yes I did
say appears.. as if the whole meaning of love is based on
"what the man is giving, how much, how often and how
much he spends, and how often he spends, and how much he falls
over himselfe, to not let her be responsible for anything"..



We again, if that's what desire, have at it.. but most
people have kids, and that's more how they may deal
with their kids, than sharing as two responsible mutually
relating EQUAL individuals.


Kindness is it's own natural manner of treating people,
scripted stuff based on some folklore pass along tradion,
forgot that times changed, situation changed, the regard
between, who is a person has changed, there was a time women
were not even counted as person..so maybe then such stuff
may have been the script.. but now women are counted as person,
they vote, they work, they earn and they save, and they own
stuff and they utilize stuff...


I bet when two lesbian go out, they pay equally, they pay
their own part when they go on vacation, they pay their own
part for what ever they do, unless, one decides to OFFER
to treat the other to something at their full expense..
or they are out trying to impress the other, with how much
they will spend on them if they stay... ( which is just another
manner of offer and bargain) done thru a covert
manner, without identifying it for what it is..


Love never meant that one needs to buy the other, nor pay
the way of the other.. it simply means they share, and the
make agreements, within sharing, and develop understanding
of what they are sharing, and can share the whys they feel
their motivations of sharing and within sharing..


and again, to each his own...