paying for dinner

If he feels he wants to then he can.. but it may well be a matter
of discussion, and she may accept the COURTESY of him paying..



this is not the 1800's , when women could not work and
were not allowed to work.. MANY WOMEN HAVE GREAT JOBS, why
not pay attention to who the colleges say are the highest
in attendance and completion, 'IT'S WOMEN"
in some sectors.


PEOPLE REFUSE TO CHANGE, and cling to the old psuedo romantic
captions, No body owe's the other anything, "it's
a date", and both of them are on it, and it one accepts
the courtesy of the other to pay, then that's fine that's
their agreement, but not as if it's some prescribed
mandate.. if it's dinner , she eats just like he does,
and that old saying may be more true than not.. " there
is no free lunch or dinner".. now, it may be given and
shared as such as a COURTESY, but never as a mandate..


but any man can set what ever he considers to be his level
of Chilivary, based on what he expects to impress, upon
whom ever he's trying to impress.. but often times, this stuff serves as a entry level program,
that soon as they relax with each other it's not forth
coming, and the stage has been set for it to be expected and
life situation does not make it always so.. and such stuff
just becomes another element that leads often to that trip
saying " you don't love me anymore, you USE TO,
do this or that..


but to each his own..


I'm not looking for a handicapped woman...Nor one
that chooses to act like she's one when she is not..
(now if it's a natural handicap, then I can accept that)..
but for this madness of Chilivary, programming, he has
to open the door, pull out her chair, and act like he can't
say what he thinks, he just as well grab the spoon and feed
her too, and then break his neck trying to get over to pay,
and then make sure he leaves a tip big enough for her to swoon
over, that gives the impression, that there's even
more money that may be forth coming to her.. ( what is that
saying, " a big tipper will spend lavishly and without
reserve on a woman).. well.. if that's the impressions
that he seeks to make.. then by all means .. have at it..


I prefer to deal with kindness that I can manage, as being
kindness, not set up impressions.. and if a woman don't
want to accept the nature of such, then she is free to go find
the script that suits her best.. I personally, don't want anything from anyone that
is given to me as part of some script, in such nature of relations..
I prefer that it is given in kindness because they have considered
my realism, and have thought what might best be their manner
of sharing..


I often pay because it's my choice to want to do it..
and it's not a question about it if I know the woman has
no money, but I also don't have a problem saying how
we can manage it, maybe I may pay for the meal, and she covers
the tip.. and if she's a nut case, who always want to
order the most expensive thing on the menu, then I will let
her know, we just as well go dutch, and she can order what
thrill her most.. ( but most women, who respect the man,
does not order the most expensive stuff just because she
can, to make him pay for it, they manage it with more dignity)..



From the way many people seem to view things, all a woman
has to do is show up, and a man suddenly wants to assume all
responsibility for her.. and if that's what make some
feel like a man, have at it..


I prefer a MUTUAL sharing relationship,


I see many relationship, where it appears, and yes I did
say appears.. as if the whole meaning of love is based on
"what the man is giving, how much, how often and how
much he spends, and how often he spends, and how much he falls
over himselfe, to not let her be responsible for anything"..



We again, if that's what desire, have at it.. but most
people have kids, and that's more how they may deal
with their kids, than sharing as two responsible mutually
relating EQUAL individuals.


Kindness is it's own natural manner of treating people,
scripted stuff based on some folklore pass along tradion,
forgot that times changed, situation changed, the regard
between, who is a person has changed, there was a time women
were not even counted as person..so maybe then such stuff
may have been the script.. but now women are counted as person,
they vote, they work, they earn and they save, and they own
stuff and they utilize stuff...


I bet when two lesbian go out, they pay equally, they pay
their own part when they go on vacation, they pay their own
part for what ever they do, unless, one decides to OFFER
to treat the other to something at their full expense..
or they are out trying to impress the other, with how much
they will spend on them if they stay... ( which is just another
manner of offer and bargain) done thru a covert
manner, without identifying it for what it is..


Love never meant that one needs to buy the other, nor pay
the way of the other.. it simply means they share, and the
make agreements, within sharing, and develop understanding
of what they are sharing, and can share the whys they feel
their motivations of sharing and within sharing..


and again, to each his own...

awareness

what we need know.. is


We as people man and woman is..


( man is, as strong as a man, but weak as a baby. )


( woman is, strong as a woman, but weak as a baby. )



for those who don't get it.. "" it means
we need each other".. no matter how much of a man, or
how much of a woman you trip yourself to think and believe...
the rule applies to all.


and all these people, with their haughtiness, of talking
about what they don't need, and how they don't
need a man, and men talking about how he don't need a
woman.. are fools, unaware of even themselves, because
they measure themselves by "material things"..
and have no awareness of their emotional and physical self
and the needs which each fills within and thru sharing each
other..


so they barter, bargain, tease and temp and, appease and
claim it's effort to please.. all to get what they want..
but not to engage to share what they can share..


and truths remain truth...


the more you share the more you learn to care, and the more
you learn to care .. the more you share..


if you are not in that act of process... you are probably
full of Bulls$!t... now dress it the way it appeases you
most , if you can't digest it for the truth it is..

learning

sx is for sale by as many means as anyone can
imagine.. and some find more sharing of the bedroom
activity by paying for it, than many find in what they call
relationships.. NO.. I know no one wants to deal with that.. some like to buy it thru romance games, and some do it thru
straight bargains.. flat out.. "this for that"



if anyone wants a relationship.. Go build one..
person to person, both giving as much as they expect to get..
and both putting in effort, and not measuring how much they
value their effort and how little they value the other person
effort.. you either like the person or you don't. you either want to make a relations with them or you don't..



but if you are just chasing some romantic illusion making,
you problem will find the same disappointments the you
found before..


Most of the guys, who talk about truly loving their women,
who passed away.. they grew that to be that.. they did not
buy it with games of flash and dash... and how much they can
show and flaunt..


and it was their women.. who shared with them and used thrift,
not spend thrift.. chasing delusions.. and they accumulated
what they attained.. as two working together..


" don't ask what you can't give equally or
meet it by some measure".. and "don't go
about thinking that someone owes you something to relate
with you".. because the only thing people if anything
owe each other is the right to be honest with each other,
and let honest bring it's truth, and let kindness be
a product of truth..


anything else is "bullsh*t".. and both of them
will find themselves covered in it.. crying their eyes
out, asking where did their "ILLUSION GO"..



MAYBE if people spend time being honest with each other
they may find they enjoy sharing truth, and appreciating
kindness, and when they look back over it.. then it shows
what of romance it was...


but this pre-scripted chasing of delusion.. find few finding
honesty, and they avoid the truths of each other, and sell
and bargin kindness.. and later fight like two wild dogs..
and when they part, one wants both dog houses, or they sell
the dog house, and end up in the street.. and the puppies
they had, don't know which direction to go, if it cared
to visit it's parents.. and that.. wide spread and
becoming more wide spread...


and all the stuff they chase, gets old, needs repair and
become obsolete.. and then they got a house full of old junk,
they threw their lives away and beat the hell out of each
other about. then they whimper.. when wisdom knocks them
on their posterior, because they did not pay attention..



that old saying holds true.. people doing the same things
over and over and expecting a different result.. is claimed
to be the definition of insanity.. but in street lingo,
people call insane people, a fool.


Ignorance is an interesting world...


it's find everyone is ignorant about something...



but to be ignorant because one is just unaware or did not
know, is respectable to a degree.. but to be ignorant and
not care about being ignorant.. is the worst form of ignorance..
because thing one is ignorant to the fact they are ignorant
and have care about being ignorant.. they just follow the
script...


" thinking, it's one of the great gifts we were
bestowed with".. but we rather let.. emotions govern
reasoning, and claim it love, rather than let reason manage
emotions so emotions does not consumes us beyond what reason
could prepare us to deal with..


but here .. so many are concerned about getting their "fix"..
of emotional consumption.. as if they chase.. being overcome
by their emotions, .. rather than learn to appreciate
thru managing their emotional sharing.. and learning
how to share more of their emotional self. and it's
work... but people don't want that..they want the
quick fix.. of illusion, and then whine and cry about the
delusion they find themselves.. and they are ready to kick
each other's posteria and take from the other anything
they can get as revenge for their own trip... they blame
on the other.. because life awakened them from their illusion
and presented them with reality of actuality.. which command..
that people learn and grow and work for what they want.


soft talk anything that delights.. but truth comes are
raw as life.. and it may have a costume of your choosing,
but if it's going to get real.. it will have to shed that
costume.. or nothing is happening.