it's always much to learn

People.. we have a lot of work to do to try and catch up... we are not really going to get any help or a leg up by any means.. so we can not look for that.. but we can look to hope that we can have unimpeded opportunity and not meet with unreal criterias.. and if we can just walk thru the doors of life and not have to put our first phase of effort into dispelling stereotypes and dealing with the hassle of being stereo typed.. we could fare well and do well and make contributions.

take for example things that we all don't have a history of knowing.. such as table setting.. not all of us grew up with a understanding of the formal nature of societies format for table setting... don't be too embarrassed to inquire, to ask and if you are invited to some place where such is part of the setting.. then pull someone to the side and ask the questions or if not .. search the internet and find the info.. so you will feel comfortable..

but there are many things that we have to reach out to gather and grasp... it's not a great thing that we were excluded for so long from such things as society takes as common sense public graces.. but there was much of time that passed that such was not even open to our engaging or our options to engage.. and many who are non black that grew up with this stuff need to be aware that if many and various things have not been a part of the general life format then don't immediately judge and expect people to know these things.. there are polite ways to impart knowledge and information..

it's the same with speaking and public address .. there are ways to help make corrections and bring information that is enlightening..

and for certain when people enter places that are unfamiliar to them then don't make them feel un welcomed.. if it's a gathering of many blacks and whites come .. make them feel welcome don't make them feel like outcase , and the same for whites when blacks come to gathering don't make them feel like outcast..

on both parts its a challenge as it is.. and it's an effort being shown to want to integrate and inter-relate..

I had a friend once who had a very big meeting to go to.. he was accustom to wearing flashy jewelry and suits that were not really business suits .. and he went to the meeting .. and afterwards.. he called me.. and told me how uncomfortable he felt.. he wanted to trade in his diamond encrusted watch for a sleek model rolex and he went out and purchased suits that were business natured... for the enviornment that he was now a part of.. but he did not have to give up his personal style for the want and like of jewlery he just tapered it to meet and fit with the enviornment that he was entering..

I've known people who have had to appear in court.. and they did not dress properly.. and I simply told them.. pay attention to the people who work in the court.. they wear suits.. not street clothes but suits.. and if you ahve to present yourself in such a situation you need to attire yourself in relations to the enviornment and you may well then be heard with the respect of self that you care to be heard.


and I will say to anyone.. if you go for an interview.. it's not a big question about what to wear.. as a man.. you wear a suit..and for certain if you can't for some reason wear a suit.. then you go with a shirt and tie... not a multi colored shirt but a solid shirt.. and some variation of white or off white or some not summer fun.. type of pastel.. but if you go to the business shirt section of any store that sells clothes.. they shirts will be encased with the appropriate colors in the rack.

and for women don't wear your night club dress and your night club shoes.. business style...and just think.. the person who established the business.. put a lot of work into establishing this business and your first presentation of self should show respect for that. as well as yourself.

let's make the changes that we were not taught but now we can learn.. there are a lot of expectation placed on us.. that many had no way to learn and no format of life style that would have taught this.. but lets investigate... and let's learn... and be open to ask questions.. and I will say to any white person .. don't be afraid to tell and share info and don't be so quick to look down and pass judgment... but pass information..

it's the same with everyone they may not know immediately how to say thank you and as with life there is embarrassment in any and all people when they don't know something... we see it in school kids when they are called upon in class. so it's human nature.. but it's humane nature to help and share and have compassionate regard..

I was shown many things by many people in the whole of life .. and very much withing the business element of life... and as I live I will be shown more and I will ask to be shown more.