I'd not go out encouraging anyone to have a child

I'd not go out encouraging anyone to have a child who is not with thoughts about what it takes.. but that's a different matter in and of itself.. I don't think any of the young mother's received encouragement and they surely many of them hae been told and even warned about the challenge of rasing a child but that's not much of a deterrent to people.. becase no matter what they see or what others say.. they see one reality.. and that's the fact that life is hard for everyone..

and the more they ae told not to do it.. they more they care to show people they can be different and they can do what people tell them they can't do.. only reality brings that to the forefront.. not just for youths but for adults as well.. so we have to see the realness of the examples of our lives..

as for the boys running off.. these young people see divorce as the reality that it is.. it's happening daily and many of the people are older people and some of them may have been together 10 years.. so that's not much of a deterrent either.. becase divorce is such a common place activity that.. it's considered normal.. people see people get married everyday.. to others who have children.. so they have the back of the mind vision that someone will still accept them.. just as everyone else has..

why we think they are so different they don't see this stuff amazes me.. they are not blind and they are not unaware of many things.. they may not have lived the years to feel the impact of various set backs but we have to take into account they setbacks they have experienced and the tribulations many of them have witnessed within what is a family and what is a home ..

these so called picture perfect suburban homes are an illusion and a delusional concept.. they see the wives cheating the husbands cheating and the broken homes, the turbulent homes and the well manicured yards that people have but the couple can't even talk to each other.. and some of them live in those homes.. we have great ideals of a perfect world and what would make one.. but tell me.. who has eer seen a perfect world.. who has ever lived in one..

I have relatives who are single mothers they struggle and yet they make it.. it's hell in a teacup for them at times.. and at times they get pissed, tired and want to just give up but they don't.. and I've seem this all my life in many places.. what we fail to grasp is .. it's purely just life.. it's not a rose garden for anyone and some have a filed with high weeds.. both young and older people.. and it stil comes down to the fact that epopel need help .. and will always need help.. but what they don't need is condemnation after the fact.... and a whole series of .. you should not have.. becase it's far too late for that in many instance .. and most definitely after the baby is born..

as for sex and people.. you can't even get adults to just sleep with one person so how the hell can people think they can make kids not sleep with anyone.. we have some twisted sense of what is reality and some idealized vision that has never been reality and will not be the reality for a whole population of people.. and if we ever accept that fact then we can work on solution to assist and support rather than tag, label and condemn..

it does not matter if it's the 1800 or the 22nd century.. people are people the world over..

I noted in Asian recently many of the girls I met they have children.. they work their butts off and their money is targeted to their kids.. and supporting their family elders.. and daily more and more of them flock to the cities to find work and their aim is to support their kids and their famileis.. and some of them do well and some of them do better than others.. so in principal this is just life.. we all would like to live in an ideal world and would like to undo things after it's done..but that's just not reality no matter how much we wish it to be so.. but instead of commiserating with the youth about what they should not have done.. then we may need to work with them and help them figure out how to deal with what's done. and do what we can as we can.. but surely we don't need to ridicule , condemn and berate and belittle them..

we can['t fix nor change the world to meet some concept we think is a perfect world.. because the world does not conform to our concept of what we of so many individuals think is perfect.. it is just what it is.. liked , unliked and even despised but the fact is .. it's as it is..


there's a show about the teens in Arizona.. whom this one doctor envisioned himself as being a great surgeon but now he runs a unit that helps these teens .. one girls father drove her to a dumpster and put her out and told her never to come back home.. so there are not just kids but there are parents all over the world putting their teens on the streets.. there are women who send their daughters to live with someone else just becase the mother met a man.. whom she's afraid will look two times at her daughter.. or she just don't want the daughter in the way..

so where in all this do we expect perfection..

there was a woman on a show who had a good home and working husband say she came for a well to do family.. she just did not like it and thought it to be boring.. she left it all and became a street hooker . and then moved on to drugs.. and this lady made this choice well after she was married and had kids and lived in suburbia.. they have the same reality that is the result of some of the so called icon's of schoo. the cheer leaders, the prom queens the football star and etc..

so we may have ideals but so does many others and not all ideals become ideal... and it's just life.. we maybe should not condemn so much and just do what we can to assist ..

I've spent 1000's of dollars helping family just in the past 2 years and that's not to count the many many 1000's over the past 30 years.. and what reality have I learned .. some will take the help and do better and some will take the help and keep looking for more.. so it's a reality for me to know that I can do what I can do and know when I can't and keep living..